Okay, so this is going to either be the world’s most narcissistic blog ever or it is going to be somewhat prophetic as history unfolds. Well, I guess there is the third option…it’s simply going to be pathetic. I have no idea how this will pan out, what I do know is I have been listening to a series of biographical sermons by John Piper about the hero’s of the faith (post awakening). I have learned of the lives of men like Charles Hadden Spurgeon, Andrew Fuller, J.C. Ryle, and others who have been mighty forces in the Kingdom of God. These were men of courage who stood against persecution, hoped through trial, and lead, collectively, millions of people to Christ against great resistance from the powers that be of their time. These biographies have stirred my heart once again to pray for God to use me as a spark for the next great awakening. This has been a desire of mine for the past five years. I remember the day I first prayed it, it totally caught me off guard. I almost felt guilty for praying such a seemingly presumptuous prayer. I mean, who am I to think I could stand in such a hallowed position? The only thing that kept me praying it was the feeling that something bigger than myself was leading me to pray it.
“Call to me and I will answer you and show you great and mighty things which you do not know” – Jeremiah 33:3
The truth is, I am just your run of the mill, screwed up, can’t do nothing right kind of guy. I work in home improvement as a painter and drywall man because my 15 year career in retail tanked when the economy went the way of the Devil in a Charlie Daniels’ song…cause you know, “The devil went DOWN to Georgia”. There is nothing special about me. I don’t have a higher education. I don’t have a lot of money. Bahaha! (Sorry, I couldn’t hold that back. I know. I know. “be content in all things” (Heb 13:5)…got it) I am a talented guy with music but I never can seem to get a solid grasp on that momentum thing it takes to be successful. I love a good debate, which at times can be a huge drawback as I don’t know when to stop. Well, actually I do, it’s when I have ANIALATED my opponent, which is not a good thing for a Christian. Smh! I led an epic’ly (I think I just made that up) apathetic Christian life for 25 plus years before losing everything in the “Great Fall of 2011”. (Oh, hey, don’t waste your time looking up the Great Fall of 2011 on Google. It was a sparsely covered, regional fall that only affected…ME!) I have been divorced for five years now, a divorce I did not want and fought desperately to stop, then promised to faithfully wait for restoration but like so many other things, I just didn’t have the fortitude to be victorious. I am forty-two years old and living in the upstairs of my parents house. (wait, I will be forty-three in three weeks! Sheesh! It just gets better!) As one woman I went out with said, “You’re situation is just not attractive”. Ouch…no really, that smarts!
So, why am I writing this blog? Because for the past few days I’ve had this thought running through my slightly dim-witted brain that goes like this; “if my prayer gets answered and I do become one of the sparks of the next great awakening, what will people study of my life to learn of God’s greatness?” Wow! When I see that in writing I realize this probably is the most narcissistic blog EVER!!! Really though, if I’m going to pray a prayer for God to use me greatly then should I not also prepare to allow my life to be studied by future generations? I was thinking about the stars this morning. Men much smarter than me will tell you10-20% of the stars we see each night actually burned out hundreds, maybe thousands of years ago. However, because of their brightness and the distance they are from us, the light they shown before they died is still traveling through time and space to be seen today.
When I am returned to the dust from which God made me, I want my “light” to continue shining. I want future generations to be able study my life, the good, the bad, the absolutely moronic, and see the overwhelming evidence of God’s sovereign work in my life. I want to leave something behind that shines in the darkness of someone’s life a hundred years from now and compels them to believe that God loves them! Is that so bad, really? Shouldn’t all Christians have that desire?
So why not, just journal privately, you might ask. Hello, didn’t we already discuss that I am narcissistic? I mean come on. *smile smile wink wink* Besides, my handwriting is HORRIBLE! I probably couldn’t read it myself, let alone someone else read it. (on a side note: I literally had someone tell me once that my handwriting looked like that of a serial killer. *gasp*). Seriously though, I just can’t help but think there might be others like me who long to be more than their right now says they are. Men and women who feel this stirring in their soul to greatly affect the Kingdom of God in their generation and those which will come after. Those hopelessly faith filled fools who see past their present inabilities to Christ’s eternal abilities. The Peter’s with a nasty case of Foot in Mouth disease. The James and John’s with a chronic Look at Me disorder. The Thomas’s whose only claim to fame is a crisis of faith. These are the men Christ chose because He doesn’t look at our physical reality but His spiritual reality.
So, if you are one of those men and women then I am writing this, painfully transparent, blog for you! I am writing this in hopes that you will rise like a phoenix out of the ashes of yesterday to soar over the darkness of tomorrow proclaiming the truths of God! (Wow! I like that. That should be on a Christian greeting card. Anybody know a greeting card editor? I could really use the money. lol)
This world is in a mess, much like it was in Jesus’ time and if He chose a group of ragtag misfits to change the world back then, then why can’t we change it today? The answer to that is, we can if we are not too afraid to look like a fool for Christ!
So, here we go. With God’s help, I will treat this as a daily journal chronicling the adventures of this slightly narcissistic, enormously passionate, Wannabe Hero of the Next Great Awakening. I hope you will join me for the journey. If not, at least come around once in a while for a good laugh at my expense.
So, now for the important stuff…what should I use as an exit salutation?
From zero to hero! Nah, been done before…
Be a hero so the world will know! Eh, kind of evangelical cheese if you ask me…
Wannabe is the life for me! A little too Green Acres…
How about Peace, love, and awakening! That’s it. I..LIKE…IT!
Peace, love, and awakening!